RANDOM: "Do to others what you would have them do to you." Matthew 7:12
i need to get a grip. all this anger just has to be vanquished. that's why i'm so tired, forget daylight savings. i'm tired because i just can't let things go correctly.
i don't know why i get so angry about my cousin. i couldn't raise a child but somehow i know all, right? i don't know. i just get so frustrated when i see her do stuff that to me is extremely stupid. ex: using her child support check to buy herself sneakers. i mean, who does she think she is? her son is going to need that money weather now or later on in his life! should i get so angry that i become freaking violent? no. do i have a right to be angry? i think i do. i just don't know how to handle it very well.
no, i don't reach out and strike things with a very big stick, or beat my pillow insanely but i can't handle my anger. or my disappointment, sadness whatever. i can't do it. i was thinking today that if i keep goin the way that i am i'm gonna end up in the looney bin.
just the other day i had two of my best friends extremely worried about me. why? cause i wasn't being 'me'. whoever that is. i was being a jerk once again. i know when i'm being a jerk. i'm not a stupid one. i'm not gonna get into the details on that one. aranel called me up and asked me what was up. i told her i didn't know. almost started to cry. almost crying now. i can't figure it out. i go from extremely happy to an extremely annoyed state. it's unnerving. why can't i just go back to bein what i was before? nice and happy. lil ms me.
today we got a new teacher for my math class. (the other has had emergency surgery) what does he say? that he gives homework but doesn't think it worth grading or collecting. what did my old teacher inform me before she left? my grade will be at least a C if i keep doing my homework. my passing or failing was hinged on the homework that i passed in! i have not missed one! now it's being all thrown from a 5 story building and being run over by a milk truck. when he said this, i wanted to bawl. what's going to happen to my grade! yes, if i don't pass he'll give me a WP (withdrew while passing) but i'll have to take the class over again! i specifically took 3 classes this semester so that i could keep tabs on my math! next semester i have to take 5!
i think my anger, sadness and annoyance are coming from me overreacting. of course they are. i don't understand where else they would come from! i've been so weepy these last few weeks. i want to cry about everything. talking to michelle about my problems today and i get all teary eyed! i don't get it tho! why? - Weller