yes! everyone's having amazing talks with boys about God!
ok, so maybe it's just me and Hannah but that's got to mean something.
david and i had the most amazing chat the other night. we couldn't sit in the living room like usual, sarah was sleeping. ssh.
so we went into my bedroom. (eek) i thought he'd maybe be uncomfortable being in my bedroom, but where else were we going to go? it was cold outside! so we sat on my bed. far away from eachother. lol so there's no temptation there.
but we talked about the bible and God and history and life and all this random great stuff that partained to us. us as separate people and us as an us. i've never done that before with a guy. and i loved it. just to hear the responses that don't sound crazy, and to know that what i say about God isn't some kind of Quenyan language to him.
the only thing i've been really praying about is the future. and here's why.
the other night i wrote david a letter. because a couple of nights before he had read me one. and one thing stuck in my mind. the part of the night when i said to him, so assuringly, i wasn't going anywhere.
that wasn't entirely true. it was at the time, and who knows, maybe i won't go anywhere. but i wrote him back and told him that if God wants me to go...i will go. i didn't want to be another Jonah story. so ok, that's good. so he knows where i stand. but i wasn't entirely prepared to have him say it back.
for some reason i have this thing where i don't think people can be as serious about God as i am. mainly because most of the peeps i hung out with weren't. but he is. and i am. that's good.
but as soon as i finished reading that letter, i started to pray. "Master, if you have to take him away from me, please prepare my heart..." and truly, that was from the bottom of the bottom of my heart. there was even some welling up of tears. can you believe it?
he wants to become a missionary. well, his heart is leaning toward that. and i don't know if i'm cut out for dating a missionary. of course, i'd be right here when he got back, but the time apart...could i go with him?
all questions that may not need answering but i want to ask them anyways.
and i don't want to hinder God's plan for him. even if it means my heart has to be broken.
God'll repair. - Weller