i'm scared.
tomorrow our church is voting for a pastor.
yes, we've done this before.
yes, it's not new in any way to me.
but i am scared that the majority vote will be wrong.
because some people can't stretch their immagination beyond color.
i hate it.
it makes me want to cry so much.
my mom said they should tell the voters the candidates are green.
even then i fear they'd prefer brown to green and snub both the choices.
it's sooooo frustrating growing up in a church you thought was so far beyond things like this. so far beyond prejudice. why? because most of them are black! they of all people should understand that prejudice is BAD!
but they don't. they don't see that not voting for a person because they're white is prejudice.
i wish i could beat them over the head.
i want to cry.
i'm so nervous for tomorrow night.
i know God's got it all in his wonderful hands. but i'm so scared. so so so scared.
and the pastor who has now retired is calling people up and telling them he'll give them a ride to the vote if they vote for the black gentleman. WHAT THE FREAKING HECK!
i'm so frustrated!
i know God's got it. i know whatever happens will be for a reason.
but i don't want my church to fall apart because we chose the wrong man for the wrong reason.
we're falling apart by ourselves. we don't need help.
i don't know. i don't.
and i don't want to think about it anymore.
but i can't stop.
i can't stop.
pray please. real hard. love you guys. - Weller

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