wow two entries in one night. i'm on a roll. well, here's why.
joe and i had a pretty serious fight on the phone. we talked peacefully for like a half hour and argued for an hour and a half. this is what sparked the discord:
"i like you, i just wish you weren't so religous."
in short...he wishes he could do what he wants with me when he wants and me not care either way. he wants me to "just let go" and kept asking "why do you care?" i got wicked offended as the time wore on. i'm not going to repeat anything he said, cause i may get it all wrong.
but even after all the yelling, i still felt like a jerk. how is it that i should be yelling back at him? that's not christian at all.
i came to the realization that i'm further away than i thought. i called you up and bawled to you. and thank you for listening to me. it's cool that we're going through the same thing internally. not cool, but cool that we've got eachother to help one another. i went back and forth trying to decided weather to call you or eddie. i settled on you. i'm closer to you. thank you for sitting there listening to me sniffle. it means the world. well, sitting here in my sleeping bag, waiting for eddie to text message me back...joe has called my cell 2ce. i don't want to hear anything from him right now. i'm too afraid to answer the phone cause i KNOW he's gonna apologize. he did last time. and even if he doesn't, i don't wanna answer. he made me mentally unstable...not cool. hehehe so i'll give him another day or two.
i can't go back to him. not this time. i've said that before. i've said alot that had to do with him, and have not once followed through. but i'm determined now. determined to show everyone that I will not be moved.
and with God's help...I won't
Mel - Weller