John Mayer...and rants. [ 2002-11-26, 9:01 p.m. ]

wad ap woman? so, the concert on sunday night was AWESOME! like, awesome wasn't even the word to start describing it. it was better than NSync...and i loooooove nsync. lol the music was awesome, and i'm so happy he can actually sound like he does on the cd. cause i would've been disappointed. he sang my Josh song which i'm thinkin of turning into the Eddie song. lol you know..."back to you". listen to it over and over again! i do! there was a really pretty song he played...i can't remember what it was tho. can't remember the title, and if i heard it right now i couldn't tell you it was it. that's how off my memory is. i bought another one of his cd's there and a shirt and bumper sticker (which i plan to hang with tape on the inside of my car)

the only thing about that night that bothered me...was that Rob was searching for me. now, i could be totally off, and he was looking for someone else...but the note on my car proved otherwise. dude, i'm afraid he's turning liking me still into unhealthy behavior...such as stalkerism. he was looking everywhere. EVERYWHERE! he even walked up a couple flights of steps to look out over the crowd! the thing is, i told him i had close seats...so he evidently thought i had floor space. thank God i didn't. i dunno what i would've said if he had found me. the searching and the note on my car after the concert got me scared tho. seriously. he FOUND my car...which means he was LOOKING for it. which means he had intentions of writing me a note, therefore keeping a pen and piece of notebook paper in his pockets. he went and FOUND my car. do you find this creepy at all?

what's my problem with rob? i'll admit it. i do have a problem. now, i seem to have made it worse. my problem is that he's so miserable and i just can't take it. when he was miserable before i felt bad for him...and tried to do anything i could for him. but now it's like he's playing on my sympathy and i'm sick of him thinking his life is that lived in a third-world country. i find this very annoying, as would any normal person. being depressed is one thing...you can go find help. being depressed and just letting yourself be depressed is a whole nother thing. you're not trying. the thing is, i'm so caught up in not hurting his feelings that i can't say that to him. i'm probably hurting him more by ignoring him...but what else can i do? this kid is like "in love" with me...and i'm starting to not want to be friends with him just cause he's depressing. (which prolly won't help his depressed mood) that's another thing. he needs to get over it. we broke up. we are friends. the end. like i know about the feelings, but must we bring them up over and over again, and get extremely upset (as in angry) when a person reminds you about the break up? come on now! how freaking old are we? this is junior high crap. yeah yeah : "well, you've obviously never felt that way about someone and it hurts." true, i've never, and i can't say weather it hurts or not. but don't be a baby about it. get on with your life. LIVE FOR CRYIN' OUT LOUD! it's what you're here for so do it!

*ahem* wow, i just wrote all that. i could prolly write more about some other people that get on my nerves sometimes, but i will refrain. no i won't...here's somethin else that is making me angry...

joe will not get the hint that i will not go back out with him. i told him, i slapped him when he tried stuff when we were friends...i told him again...and again and again! and he's so dence he just can't get it for some freaked out reason. the other night he calls me and tells me he still likes me very much and that he wants to get back together but "you don't have to answer me tonight. think about it...will you think about it?" and when i reply "if i feel like it" he goes, "no really, will you?" and here comes the not wanting to hurt him thing and i don't say what's on my mind. which was "what is wrong with you!? have i not told you AND shown you that i cannot do that!" i just sat there. and he said good night and hung up. i'm so frustrated. why can't all the guys i date be like Josh...who never talks to me, never bothers me, but still says hi when he sees me. i don't need this ignorance! i have enough of my own to deal with without having 20 other people give me more!

so, in conclusion...JM was awesome and i hate guys*.

*all except ET that is. ;)

Mel ~ Weller

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