it's happened.
it's finally happened.
oh my goodness. what should i do?
this is like...the sky is falling, chicken little.
ok so that one may've been a tad bit dramatic. but it's just such a big thing.
i have been asked to be pres or vice for the youth. again. i just don't know what to do. i can pray...that's always good. listen for an answer...yep, yep. go spastic...i like that.
it's just such a big decision. i've never really been the leader when i was president. i was always the secretary and acting president. yea, i'd take over meetings when we'd spin our wheels. but there was always a 'grown-up' over me if i had any problems or questions or situations i couldn't handle. and now...(if i choose to accept it) that 'grown-up' will be me.
it's so overwhelming and scary to think about. i'd have l-speth beside me either as vice or pres. but it's just going to be SO different. i realize that i'll have God to fall back on. and that should put me at ease. but why doesn't it? why isn't it. do i really have that little faith? i can't. there have been so many times where i was more than sure things were in his hands. and they were. but why is it differen't now. i'm scared.
i'm scared to think about all the problems and things that could arise that i will have to deal with it.
but that's the answer, isn't it. all these freaking i's. they really need to be replaced with God's.
see how simple that was? now i can go ahead and pray...the fear is really gone. *smiles* it was really that easy! OMGoodness this is great! all i have to do is put my trust where it belongs. not in man. *laughs* wow.
last night david and i played uno. then went to evening service. man o man did he look niiice in his white button up shirt and black dress pants...with matching sneakers. *drool* lol when we got back...ben appeared.
i dunno about ben. he's david's best friend and i feel like i'm stepping all over his territory. and i am. but it's like he likes me, he's got no beef...but then realizes david likes me...and i dunno.
example. david took my sister and i to watch a movie at his friend daniel's house. it was supposed to be a guy thing. i made david call all of his friends to find out if they'd be opposed. he called back and said everything was cool. we got to the house and started the movie. ben came. said hi...sat in the back corner...left, said bye. not but 2 words. and i'm prolly over analyzing but i felt like that was supposed to be their time. you know? and it def was. then last night ben wants to come over and talk to david, and i'm there. *shrug* i dunno.
so i'm glad that when david called me this afternoon ben came and asked him if he wanted to go to westerly. and david didn't ask me to come. i don't want ben to not like me. he's a big part of david's life. he was there before me, lives right next to the boy for crying out loud.
i'm going to stop explaining this...something tells me yall get it.
well, i'm gonna keep working on my html and hopefully find a miracle to help me! luvs! - Weller