everyone came over for a celebration for ronneka's b-day. that was saturday night. seeing as her birthday was forever ago. it was good crazy fun. as usual. we didn't get to play the game Em described to me tho. no time between laughs!
things are good here. the bible that i have on my phone seems to be funny. the verses read funny, i think words are missing. i suppose you can't put the whole bible on a phone. that would be hard. i suppose.
allergies are getting annoying. throat itching, nose clogging and last night jess wanted me to teach Pan (my dying fish) how to jump through a hoop. ok.
sunday was cool. not alot of stuff going on. some stuff.
mom and i had nursery duty at church. of course it was when joel was preaching. the one sunday i can get something out of the whole sermon instead of bits and pieces. but playing with a little boy named london was fun. he's so cute!
pulpit comittee is...i'm not sure if we're coming along good or not. i mean yea we're making progress but i really don't know how these things woork or how long they take. i guess it's just that part of me that wants everything to get done asap. not talking about haste here, just good getting down to business to get it finished. mom says we're coming along fine, i guess i'll trust her.
i have been getting this feeling about my job lately. one day i was there and something, i can't remember what, happened and this thought popped into my head. "quit". that's all it said. and i agreed with it, not because of what happened, because it felt like it was time. but then i questioned it. but i did so for a reason. i've said i've wanted to quit so many times and have either not meant it, said it cause something i didn't like happened or didn't feel like it. this time it felt like it wasn't me saying "i want to quit." it was someone else and it didn't feel like that someone didn't care if i wanted to or not. it felt like because they wanted me to, i wanted to. like a good bout of peer pressure from inside.
at first i brushed it off, but it happened again. i'm not really sure it was that someone the second time or if i was building off the first time to make it fit whatever situation i was in.
joel told me that if it's God's will, he won't let you just brush it off. he will keep calling louder and louder until you do what it is he has planned or you try to run away like jonah. and we all remember the story of jonah. i'm not getting eaten by no whale!
but how do you know it's him? i remember that story in the Bible about the guy with the fleece and the dew. how will i figure this out? is it as easy as that?
i just don't want to screw up. i don't want to think it's something God is saying when it's my mind and desire. but i don't want to go through life being a doubter. i'm always talking about faith and how it's all we need, but where's mine at? that's another point, does second or eighth guessing show a lack of faith? maybe i'll check that out for meself. make my own little list. if one can be compiled.
i want to be sure i'm doing the right thing. and not for me. i don't want to disappoint God. that would suck more than anything. - Weller