so i basically wrote in my other diary about this situation but i feel like expounding.
bare with me for a moment.
it's just so strange, the things that he wrote. didn't sound like him at all. what little i know of him, that's not something that could've come out of him. no.
then again, maybe he's realized who he really wants to be. rugged and hard. i guess the airforce would do that to you. turn a sensitive guy who tries to be tough into exactly what he thinks he wants to be...tough.
but it was just so un-ben like, the things he wrote to her. sounded shady to me.
everyone thinks it's out of character for him to have written the things he did. everyone is me, sarah, david. we're really the only ones who know him and had read the letter. it's weird. weird situation.
BUT
onto other news in the life of me. YAY!
things are very good here.
since i've been taking the class on the doctrine of the Church of God i've been looking at my church and what it's supposed to be.
i've learned that i can't change people there. my heart is so much lighter. of course, i've known that i can't change people. that's not what i'm supposed to do. there's no reason for me to try. but what i can change is myself!
i can change me!
i know, you're saying "duh, weller...hello." but i've finally figured out what it is i can do to save my church.
look at yourself first! if there's something wrong, look at yourself! you can fix that!
if someone sees your life is in ship-shape they may want a piece of that. that's how i can fix the church. start with myself!
why did it take so long for me to figure this out! i knew it all along, and here it is coming into play.
where has my brain been!
- Weller

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