school began for some this week. i'm not going back this semester. i've been looking at some classes for maybe next semester. Medical coding and such. i think i'd like it. but i'd have to take a class on medical terminology, which requires an anatomy class. Anatomy. i took biology and that was hard enough. we didn't even get into body parts. :) I think i can do it though. as long as there aren't any oral presentations or stuff like that. i don't like those much. but yeahm, school.
WARNING: TALK ABOUT THE BF BELOW. STOP NOW IF YOU WISH.
the "m" word has also been on my mind, and i hesitate to write anything about it because my mom reads this sometimes. hahaha. she may have a heart attack.
i'll write on.
marriage, like school has been close on my mind. not close time-wise as school, but close none the less. i've been sleeping with a body pillow. let me tell you there's not alot of room in a twin bed. haha. it's hard to let him go at night though. it's quarter of eleven at night and he's got to leave. i'm all sleepy and he's got his arms wrapped around me and we've spent most of the night having intelligent conversation. (the other "most of the night" is usually spent having non-intelligent conversation and beating eachother up.)
i know, not everyone's crazy, but i can't imagine being without those arms. i like them alot, if you can't tell. and it's not like i've ever really slept in them. i've napped beside him on a sunday afternoon or two and i've relaxed and let him sleep in my arms. but to be that close to someone and be semi-consious has no right to be compared to sleeping in someone's arms. right? i don't know. i'm assuming i'm right. (and yes, i'm just talking about sleep. no extraneous activities.) just two tired people going to sleep beside eachother who happen to be in love. it's got to be the best feeling in the world. it makes me want to smile.
of course anything about him makes me smile. it just works that way. there's probably a million other things i could write about but my days are happily uniform, so nothing really changes. even the things about david and i. i may write about 20 different things and 20 different feelings about them, but when it comes down to david, the feeling's not going to change. i love him.
i question that alot. my motives for loving him. i usually discover i have none and i just love him.
then i get into why. i feel like i have to have 26 million reasons. do i? if you asked me to list them, i'd freeze. of course you'd get the stuff like "the way he looks at me" and then i'd delve into his character and the cute things he does. but at the end of it all i'd probably write 3 things down and end with "i just do."
is this bad? am i supposed to have a mental list? if someday i get angry and wonder why i love him is that list supposed to help me come back to sanity? help me solidify my love? or do you think "i just do" will save the day? i don't know very much about love, okay i know less than that, but i do believe love is supposed to be simple. it's a you do or you don't thing. (i know, not for everyone) and if you need a list to tell you why you love someone, then maybe you don't as much as you think. who knows. - Weller

last - next