last night i did an excercise in a workbook called "saving your marriage before it starts" (which you can get at christian book distributors...).
the purpose of the excercise was to help you define love in your own terms. it asked you to prioritize a list of the following...
- acceptance
- caring
- commitment
- concern for the other's well-being
- friendship
- honesty
- interestin the other
- loyalty
- respect
- supportiveness
- trust
- wanting to be with the other
take a minute to prioritize those. number them 1-12, 1 being the highest priority.
done?
yeah, you're not going to do it so i'll just move along.
i wanted you guys to know what i prioritized and why.
these were my numbers:
3 acceptance
4 caring
12 commitment
5 concern for the other's well-being
2 friendship
11 honesty
1 interest in the other
10 loyalty
7 respect
9 supportiveness
8 trust
6 wanting to be with the other
now, here is my reason why commitment and honesty were at the bottom of my list and something as shallow as interest was at the top...
think about your normal relationship. logically.
love is established by interest in the other person, am i correct? you don't go up to someone and become immediately committed to them. your interest in this person turns into a friendship which helps you accept the person as they are. if you weren't friends to begin with how do you know if you can accept them or not? after you are able to accept them for who they are, flaws and all, you're able to truly care about them. by caring you establish a concern for their well-being.
while you're being concerned about them you want to be with them. while you're with them they see how much respect you have for them and with that respect you give and earn, you come to trust that person and they trust you. this trust helps you support them which in turn shows your loyalty.
but in order to be loyal you must be honest. these last two things shos your commitment to the other person.
so, using what you numbered your priorities and definitions of the words, try and explain your own love definition. i think you'll be equally as surprised.
luvs! - Weller