david and i start marriage counselling this week.
could be tomorrow...
could be thursday...
either way we need all the prayer we can get.
things are changing fast. i'll have a husband soon and i can't figure out what i think about that.
obviously it's a good thing. all good things come from God. i'm scared i'll ruin it or not be able to try hard enough when it really counts.
paranoid.
i've always thought like that. i'm surprised i haven't ditched this relationship too. fear always gets me.
but this relationship is so right i can't even explain it to you. i know we're going to be okay no matter what. it's just those days i know will come when i won't be sure for real. even though i'll know it will be okay.
does that even make sense? pretty soon i'll have to rely on david for everything. no mom and dad. oh yeah, they'll be a call or a car ride away but i have to cleave to my husband. good times or not.
wow. what a change. this is when i'm greatful God has gotten me where I am in my relationship with him. praying and reading every day twice a day has made such a change. happy all the time? do i look like i'm a zombie? not always happy, but always resting in the fact that God's got my back. and my front. my feet and my head. it's a wonderful feeling.
right when i need him he's always there. every morning i pray that he'll help me keep my promise to him and by golly he's helped me do it. it's been rocky getting there but the promise has been kept thus far. i'm not letting go of that hand. and i'm sure as heebies not going to bite it.
life is awesomely strange.