- [ 07.23.09, 8:20 a.m. ]

i kind of miss being at school and typing out an entry in the library...

maybe i'll go back to school someday.

not with what our bank account looked like today, boy...nope!

i dont understand what makes us think we have all the money in the world. i'm glad i got so much overtime last week, that will secure the bills.

this month's been the worst for over spending so far. why is that?

anyway. if anyone reads this before noon, i'll be hanging out with my sister today and i'm very anxious about it. we haven't hung out since 2 weeks after my wedding, which would make it almost a year since we've talked or spent any significant amount of serious time together. i'm quite stressed out about it.

every time we get together i end up bashing her boyfriend, which i intend to do today, but for a good reason which i can tell you about later on in the month...

you know when you just KNOW when things aren't right? well, he's one of them. they've been on and off for like 4 years or something? and he's just not showing me the man of God he claims to be. and, to top it all off, my sister's changed in that direction as well.

i know, i can't DO anything about it. but God is NOT asking me why i stood back and let some things go. if they want God to ask them that, fine with me. but i am going to be accountable to her like i should be. she's my sister for crying out loud!

i just fear she'll see this like she had the other times i've tried to talk to her about the changes that have happened since that boy walked into the picture. "i love him" wow. i love david, but if hanging out with him lead to my lifestyle denying Christ, i'd have to take a long look at dating him...

but that's me. i actually care about what i read every morning in the Word. i don't know how much they do. which will also come up in discussion.

i just feel like every time we sit down to have a serious discussion she cries and i feel like i'm the big bad wolf. that is not what i want our relationship to be about, nor do i want her to think the world revolves around what they want and think is right. as it does not revolve around me that way.

i dunno. i'm rambling now.

have to get blood work done this morning and i am SO hungry my throat hurts. i only have a half hour and i can go, get it done and EAT!

then it's off to get my hair cut. it's too humid here for me to have them straigten it. but one day i'll do it.

today is donk's birthday. i dunno what we're doing but i'm going to have to scrounge up some funds to get her birthday present.

this morning i'm also going to morning star with mom and my sister. maybe i can find something for her there. taking someone out to dinner is one thing, giving a personal gift is another. you have to do that with people you call your best friends. it's just....right.

well i'll get paid a bit later on today so then i can pay my bills. (i love paying bills, no joke, i could do it all day long...as long as the moolah is there)

that's strange...i just remembered the elvin word for money! lol

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