"How Will I?"

baptism is coming up and everyone says you have to say something. give a testimony. what will i testify about? i don't know. sister sylvia says that it's one of those times where you just have to be still and let God do the talking. i've never done that before. how do i do that? i know that i can be still, but have God do the talking...i dunno. i fear i won't be able to say anything. and you're evidently supposed to say something even if no one can hear you. i'm scared. and i shouldn't be, i mean it's a public display of my faith in God and me being born again. tellin God, yes, i want to serve you and i'll do whatever it takes. how can i do that when i can't even figure out a testimony. i mean, i've been raised in the church! there hasn't been a time when i wasn't there. it came "naturally" to me to know God and know he should be adored and praised. But when that moment came, that life-changing moment where the Holy Spirit entered into me...was at my house, when i was watching a christian concert on television. God had a call on my life and i was not going to sit there and ignore it. the only way i ever have been able to comfortably and publicly show my love for Him is by singing. but what do you say when you're in front of a crowd full of people? i am really, truly scared. "oh ye of little faith" is what keeps popping into my mind. why can't i just trust that God will do what he needs to do? Probably because i can't do what i need to be doing. reading my bible, praying, asking questions. i play my gameboy, i go to bed, and when comes time in sunday school to gain more knowledge i think "well, that's kinda dumb to ask danielle, i'm sure you'll figure it out". why can't i just TRUST! the baptism is in 6 weeks. six...is that time enough to change?

-Weller

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