well, today is wednesday and i'm back from school. back from psyching myself out, back from my "elaborate" plan. back with the idea i'll never see Erucolindo again.
i had that idea once...a while ago, when he was gonna leave KB, then i kept seeing him at school. but this time, it's a deeper idea that i'm never gonna see him again. this week is the last week of classes. next week is finals. the only place i knew where to look for him was in the parking lot close to 10am and wednesdays in the hall at 1pm. but that won't matter in...three days.
he wasn't there.
the day i am actually ready, physically, and mentally, to talk to him on my own about us hanging out...he's not there. i'm talkin no where. we waited an extra 5 minutes before we finally left. i was seriously going to cry when we left. but i didn't. i felt like it tho. o boy did i feel like it.
he wasn't there.
does anyone realize what it's gonna take for me to get him out of my mind? i give it 3 or 4 months. maybe more than that. i only wanted to keep in touch over the summer, hoping something would come out of it. my blue eyes is gone for now. and next time i see him, i wonder what my situation will be. or what his might be. for all i know he could already be squeezin on some chick. but, my God, how i wish it was me.
he wasn't there.